Did you know that every person has their own love language?

My Brother Niko and I. 2015

I’m reading a very interesting book… It’s written by Gary Chapman, a psychologist with over 30 years of experience working with couples. The book is the result of his practice and wisdom gathered throughout those years. According to Gary, every person has their own love language, and unless we speak it, they won’t truly feel loved.

There are five such languages. Five fundamental ones, each with their own “dialects.”
For example, if someone’s love language is acts of service, that’s how they feel loved. No matter how much we try to speak to them in another love language—let’s say, words of affirmation—and no matter how much we praise them, they won’t fully feel loved until we speak their language, like actually helping them with something.

It turns out, every person has their own inner “love tank.” If it’s empty or only partially filled, the person feels irritated, everything around them gets on their nerves. But if their tank is full, they feel happy, light, and nothing bothers them. This is because one of the most basic human needs is to love and be loved—to feel deeply that we are cherished.

Children are especially sensitive to this. For them to grow up healthy, whole, happy, and free, they need to feel loved as often as possible. If a child misbehaves, breaks or ruins things, that’s a signal: they’re not feeling enough love and their “love tank” is empty. That’s why it’s so important to discover their love language and express love in that language as often as possible—it’s something they need the most! ❤ ❤

For instance, my little brother, Niko’s, love language turned out to be physical touch. That’s how he knows he’s loved. We’ve even created a new little tradition ❤ ❤. Every morning, I ask him a coaching-style question: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how full is your love tank today?” If he says, let’s say, 6, I ask him what I can do to bring it up to 7. And his answer is always the same—“give me a hug.” Then I ask again and again, until we reach 10. When his love tank is full, he becomes so happy and playful, it’s just the sweetest thing ❤ ❤.

Dear parents, notice what your child’s love language is—what makes them feel most loved? Explain to them that every person has a “love tank” that needs to be filled every day. Ask them regularly how full theirs is—it will make them so happy! They’ll feel loved, valued, and precious, and this feeling is truly irreplaceable. No material gift can ever replace that sense of being deeply loved.

It’s such an insightful and practical book. I recommend it to everyone, especially those who have children, a spouse, or a partner. This book will change your life—and theirs too! When we know our loved ones’ language and truly speak it, they become the happiest people. And then, in turn, they make us even happier ❤ ❤.

The book gives simple, practical answers to so many questions. It’s called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. ❤ ❤

Wishing you an evening filled with love!

As for me, today my love tank is at a full 10 out of 10! ❤